The Beatitudes came in mind. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” ( MT 5:3). I thirst for happiness, yet I hold on to so many materialistic things on earth. The widow’s offering is a great example of the generosity and faith to God. I realize how much I need to be converted. I need the courage to live simple and happy. Dear Lord, please grant me the courage to take up this challenge and avoid all temptation, open up myself and allow You to enter the abyss of my heart. Through the intercession of Mother Mary, lead us to eternity and the kingdom of heaven.
“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (Jn 6:68).

Learning how to give my all to Mother Mary is an amazing journey. There is a discernment which I am making recently. Not only do I have resistance from myself to make the decision, but also it is blocked by the situation and the people around me. For me, it is quite impossible. Since I learn how to give my all to Mother, I let go of this intention as I see myself helpless and hopeless. I completely entrust to her. I am waiting for a miracle to happen, and I am confident that it will come…

The same way that St Louis de Montfort asked us to reach the highest degree of glory, St. Faustina also revealed that Jesus asked of her to give up all her suffering to Him. Through Mother Mary, which St. Faustina also mentioned in her diary to be her special child. We are all working towards that special exclusivity the way Mary told St. Faustina.

[My daughter, at God’s command I am to be, in a special and exclusive way your Mother, but I desire that you, too, in a special way, be my child. (1414) ]

其實在聖經裏耶穌常常提醒我們要像小朋友才能進入天國，其實要明白點解將我哋全部交比聖母，就從小朋友嘅角度睇啦！ 作過比喻，就好似係我哋細個嗰時攞到啲利是錢都會全部交俾阿媽，每次阿媽買完一啲嘢比我時，就會話係你利是錢度扣啦！而阿媽都知什麼適合或不適合買比我，回想我諗阿媽咁多年嘅總付出比我的利是錢還要多！ 就是這個推論，奉獻自己所有給聖母媽媽係有優勢的！

自從決定將所有的祈禱及自知有限的善功及刻己，都一一呈上給聖母去分配給有需要的人的同時，原來自己開始學習放開了執著，而且日漸發現聖母好比一個超級無敵大秘書，幫我記錄起所有我心曾經希望幫他們祈禱的人的名單。因為我發現自己已經不再憂心會忘記，怕沒有為曾經承諾祈禱的人祈禱。相反，心裡有一份絕對的安全感，渴望不斷承諾為更多人祈禱，因為我知道我有聖母幫我分配，我只需要定時定候「交家用」就好了。回想，這決定不易做，但原來真是有意想不到的效果。辛苦了聖母，感謝聖母，讚美天主！

Sometimes when I read Fr. Gaitley’s book about giving my all to Mary (even though this is not the first time), I would still doubt why giving so much to Mary? But then I am reminded it is God who gave her the role in the salvation plan. It is Jesus who entrusted John as her son, when he was suffering on the cross. Mary was given to us because the road to the cross is too painful for us to walk, even with Jesus as the destination. Mary knows all of our needs and knows who needs our prayers the most. It makes sense for us to give her our prayers, though unworthy, she is what make them worthy in front of the Lord.

在今日的靈修反省中，聖蒙福教導我們，瑪利亞在救恩的過程有著超乎想象的地位，她和耶穌的親密母子關係，就是為甚麼我們可以完全信賴和交託給她的原因。試想像，瑪利亞面對耶穌被捕，被鞭打，被釘死在十字架上，看著耶穌受難的今日，她的心情會是如何的絞痛。但她明白到天父實在太愛我們，祂甘願將祂的獨生子耶穌降生成人，為我們示範最完美的愛。相愛的人，互相付出，互相犧牲，互相愛護，互相交託，不論環境順逆，都不離不棄，至死不渝。瑪利亞在這個愛情故事裡做了三點重要的事情是非常值得我們學習。第一，瑪利亞非常謙卑地接受天主的旨意。第二，瑪利亞空虛自己由聖神在她身上工作；她對耶穌所作的每一件事反覆思量，默存心中。第三，瑪利亞完全信賴耶穌。瑪利亞的絕對服從、交託和信賴，成就了天主偉大的愛情計劃。主耶穌，求你派遣聖神來到我的心裡，帶領我，洗滌我，讓我這33日全然奉獻給你。

很多時為善會工作，我也以為可以靠自己的能力去完成，但是往往也錯漏百出，甚至乎失敗收場。原來當我以為自己是「得的」- 就是失敗的原因；反而當我明認自己的軟弱和無能，就是天主給予我力量和恩賜的時候。我明白了做事成功的光榮根本一點也不屬於我。願光榮永歸於父、及子、及聖神；起初如何，今日亦然，直到永遠。亞孟。
p.s. 今天在基督苦難禮儀中我們一起頌讀的「除掉他，除掉他，釘他在十字架上！」真的令我十分難過⋯雖然我很不情願把這說出口，但是我的過犯偏偏就是把耶穌釘在十字架上的一份子。在朝拜十字聖木時，慢慢步向十字架的我感到十分之羞愧，我不敢抬頭。慈悲的主，請祢寬恕我的罪過，請祢用從祢肋膀流出的血和水滌淨我。

My favorite phrase “Let go of your worries hand them over to Mother Mary”. I recall it was almost something impossible to do years ago but yet it was so easy when I just say “Yes” and consecrate myself to the Immaculate Conception. She lift me up from darkness and bring me back joy. Mother Mary remind me that Jesus is just beside me no matter how much burden or suffering we have. Jesus came to this world, endure all the sufferings and was crucified by mankind. All that is to bring us salvation.
Thank you Lord. You never abandon us. I trust in You.

Letting go my will and give them to Mary is always my challenge when I first learn it. Not only do I need to retrain my thoughts every time when I have prayer intentions that I give my final say to Mary, but also I would need to let go of my own will even when the will I think has a very good intention.

I finally understand this “change of thought” is not what God needs, but instead it is what I need. What I really need is to let my prayers be union with God, be “theo-drama”, let my will becomes God’s will. Only then, my prayers can fly, raise up high to the sky! Who is better understand God’s desire other than Mary, the Queen of Heaven, at the moment when we start to pray?! Mother Mary is always in best interest to intercede our prayers and transform them to best match to God’s will, to “put my imperfect prayers to the her golden plate and present to the King”.

How great and relieve when I start to learn this reality! Thanks be to God.